


It's You, Me, and Batbaby Forever

by dsgirl4987



Category: Stephanie Plum - Janet Evanovich
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-07-03
Updated: 2014-07-03
Packaged: 2018-02-07 08:05:50
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,173
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1891542
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dsgirl4987/pseuds/dsgirl4987
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Steph and Joe break up due to ranger. Steph knows it's for the best, but is still distraught. Ranger shows up at her apartment and finally tries to make things right. Not the best summary, but give it a chance. Rated for smut and language.</p>
            </blockquote>





	It's You, Me, and Batbaby Forever

"I can't fucking do this anymore, Cupcake."  
I swallowed hard, and felt tears welling up in my eyes at the anger, hurt, and utter defeat in Joe's voice. I pulled my trembling lower lip between my teeth, and bit hard, willing myself not to cry. Not here. Not now. "I'm sorry, Joe." I knew the words were meaningless, even before I had spoken them, but as always, silence made me uncomfortable, and well, I had to say something.  
Joe ran a hand through his thick, dark hair, and scoffed. "Don't apologize to me, Stephanie. You and I both know that you don't mean it." He clenched his fists before turning his back to me, and began to haphazardly stuff his belongings into his duffel bag. I opened my mouth to speak, but Joe held up a hand to stop me, without even turning around to look at me. "Don't. Just don't, okay?." He zipped the bag, and and grabbed his gun from the nightstand next to my bed and holstered it.   
"Joe-"  
He placed a finger over my still trembling lips, and placed a chaste kiss on my forehead. My tears spilled over as he pulled back, and placed his hands on my shoulders. "Jesus, Steph, don't cry." His lips settled into a grim line as he watched me unsuccessfully try to hold back a sob.   
"Joe, I love you." I fisted a hand in his soft plaid shirt. "But-"  
"But you're not in love with me."   
I stared at Joe, stunned. It was rare that he ever knew what I was actually thinking. How awful that the one time he had to be right, that it was about this?  
"It's him," Joe continued. "It's always been him."   
"Ranger," I whispered, my heart beating a little faster in my chest just from saying his name.   
He rolled his eyes. "Yeah. That fucker."   
It was a good thing that Joe had said this without much heat behind it, or I would have gone from remorseful, apologetic Stephanie to sniper Stephanie in five seconds flat.   
I disentangled my fingers from his shirt as he took a step back, and picked up his duffel bag. I coudn't explain the feeling of panic rising in my chest at the thought of him leaving. I knew he, hell, we deserved better. Joe deserved a woman who was head over heels in love with him, who wanted to be his wife, and give him a houseful of children. A wife who would be happy to stay home, and take care of their children, and Joe of course. It was so painstakingly obvious that I was not, and would not ever in a million years be that woman.   
No, I was polar opposite of what Joe needed in a woman. I had no desire to get married, have kids, or any of that bogus stereotypical shit that is expected from women- especially 'Burg women. I did as I wished, not as I was told....as was evidenced by my refusal to give up my bond enforcement agent job with Vinnie, my refusal to listen to my mother's desperate pleas for me to do as Joe wanted, since he was my 'last chance at getting married, having babies, and having a good life'. And, of course, my inability to stay away from Ranger. No matter how mad my mother or Joe got, I couldn't, wouldn't stay away from him.  
His hand on the doorknob, he glanced at me over his shoulder. "Goodbye, Cupcake." Before I could even muster up a response, he slipped out and closed the door behind him. Just like that, he was gone.   
I peeked out of my curtains, watching Joe's taillights disappear. "Goodbye, Joe."  
~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~  
Two hours and three pints of Ben and Jerry's later, I began to wonder if I had made a mistake. Yes, I had it bad for Ranger, but...I couldn't really say that he felt the same about me. After all, he was the one who had sent me back to a man I didn't really love after making love -I'm sorry- having sex with me. He might be the sexiest man to ever live, ever, but his habit of sending me mixed signals non-stop was exhausting. Then again, bawling for the better part of hours and binging on ice cream had proved to be quite exhausting as well. Maybe Ranger was right, and I did need to start exercising more. I frowned at the thought, then glanced at the three empty ice cream containers.   
After tossing the containers into the trash, I opened my freezer, and held a bag of frozen peas to each eye for a minute or two, hoping to at least slightly reduce the redness and swelling from the hours I had spent crying. I was finally starting to get a grip. I knew that Joe and I calling it quits was a good thing, but I was terrible at goodbyes. Sighing, I went to my bedroom to change into some sweats and one of Ranger's shirts. What the hell, I already felt like shit, so why not go for a run? I wasn't naive enough to think that I would actually enjoy the physical activity, but if I was lucky, it might tire me out enough that my brain would shut off so I could actually get some sleep later on. I laced my sneakers, and placed my iPod in my sweats pocket and slipped in the earbuds. I scrolled through my music library, and settled on Katy Perry. Female empowerment, girl power, yay. Holy hell, I was in a bad mood.  
I continued scrolling through my music since Katy's voice was just annoying the pee out of me. I had settled on the Beastie Boys, and was bobbing my head to 'No Sleep Til Brooklyn' and was headed towards the door when I collided with a hard chest. I let out a shrill shriek, and my iPod fell to the floor, shattering into a dozen or so shiny pieces. Somehow, during all of this, I had managed to pull my gun out of my waistband, and had it pointed at the solid wall of male, muscled chest in front of me, when the scent of Bulgari hit my nose.   
Ranger.  
"Babe." His lips twitched, so slightly that I thought I had probably imagined it, as he removed the earbuds dangling out of my ears, before removing my gun from my hands and flipping the safety on.  
"Ranger." I stared at the floor, avoiding looking at him, even though I could feel his eyes on me. If I looked into his chocolate eyes right now, I would, without a doubt, lose it, and start my crying jag all over again.  
I could feel his eyes narrow as he took me in. "Babe. Are you okay?"  
How did he know? "Yeah," I nodded, now staring at Ranger's boot clad feet. Good god, even his boots were sexy.  
He chuckled, and with a mind of their own, my eyes met his. "Thanks, Babe." As his eyes inspected my face, the smile faded from his face, and he reached out and lightly ran a finger below my swollen eyes. "You've been crying."  
"Y-yeah," I admitted. No use in lying to Batman. He knew all, and couldn't be fooled.   
He leaned down, and pressed his forehead to mine, a few strands of his silky black hair escaping from his ponytail as he did so. "Who hurt you, Babe? I'll make him pay for hurting you-"  
"Joe and I broke up." His eyes widened fractionally, and I swear I saw a smidgen of vulnerability in them before his blank look slid into place.   
Ranger led me to my couch and sat down, legs spread. I sat on the floor, between his legs as he fingers lightly stroked my hair. I closed my eyes. "Wanna talk about it, Babe?"  
I shrugged, my head falling back on his lap as he gently massaged my scalp. God, it felt good. "It's not important, Ranger. You've heard this all a million times before."  
I could feel him tense, and his fingers stopped moving in my hair. "Babe. If it's about you, it's important. Okay?" He waited for me to nod, and then his fingers resumed their soothing action. "Tell me what happened, Babe? Please?"  
"I-" I paused. "This is kind of embarrassing."  
"Babe. I've seen you handcuffed, naked, to your showerrod. I have seen you covered head-to-toe in garbage. I have seen you at your best, and your worst. I have touched, licked, kissed every inch of your body, I've been inside you. It's kind of pointless to be embarrassed." He sounded amused, but I could tell that he wasn't making fun.  
Holy shit. Ranger had just given what was his equivalent of a speech. And thanks to his mentioning of the night that we had shared together, my panties were now becoming wet. Uncomfortably wet. How did this man arouse me so easily?  
"Babe," Ranger groaned. Damn ESP. He cleared his throat, and eased my head up off of his lap just as I felt his hardened arousal against my hair. Awkward, but oh-so-hot at the same time.  
I plopped down on the couch beside him, and sighed. "You're right. I shouldn't be embarrassed...but..."  
"Tell me. Or no more scalp massages for you. Ever."  
I punched his arm, and winced. "You're playing dirty." He just raised an eyebrow. I sighed. "Ugh. Fine. Joe wanted to take me to bed-" I paused as Ranger's eyes darkened with barely concealed anger. Yikes. Angry Ranger wasn't fun, and I rushed to finish. "Joe wanted to take me to bed. So we're in my room, and just like all the other times we've tried in the past four months, nothing worked." My cheeks were hot, and I knew I was blushing.  
Ranger looked confused, which was a first. "Talking about you and Joe in bed together is just about the last fucking thing I want to do, but what do you mean, it didn't work?"  
I stared at my hands, suddenly very interested in my obnoxious teal manicure that Lula had given me the other day during a particularily uneventul stakeout. "It didn't work."  
A blank look was all I got from Ranger. He was not going to let me off the hook. I was actually going to have to tell him about the ordeal. "No matter what Joe did, I couldn't get wet. I don't know what's wrong with me. But, Joe had had enough, I guess, because he broke it off. Although he used you as his reason for breaking up."  
Kneeling in front of me, Ranger took my hands in his. "Babe. There's nothing wrong with you."  
I rolled my eyes. "Ranger. I haven't been able to have sex for four months, It's kind of hard to have sex when you're totally dry. Maybe I have a hormone imbalance...or a disease?" I pondered this, and when I met Ranger's eyes, I was shocked. His blank look was gone, and all of his walls were gone. It was still Ranger who was sitting beside me, but in his eyes, I was seeing my first ever glimpse of Ricardo.  
"I'm going to ask you a few questions, Babe. Don't think about them, just answer yes or no, okay?" His voice was quiet, and deadly serious.  
Oh good lord. A Ranger interrogation. Goody. "Okay." I meekly replied.  
"You know that spot, where your neck and shoulder meet? Did Morelli ever kiss you there? Bite you there?"  
Oh god, his voice was husky. I absolutely couldn't take it when his voice went husky. My lower regions were throbbing, and I felt my nipples tighten into hard points. I thought I was going to explode when he trailed his fingers over said spot.  
"N-no," I stammered.  
I heard him mumble something that sounded suspiciously like, "Fucking idiot." before he asked his next question. "Does he stroke your face when he kisses you?"  
I shook my head. No. But Ranger had.  
"Did he play with your nipples? Squeeze them just until it almost hurts, then suck on them to soothe them?"  
I blushed furiously, and shook my head. No. But Ranger had.  
He muttered a string of what i suspected were curse words in Spanish before looking at me incredlously. "Fucking idiot." No mistaking it this time. "Babe, we've been to bed together a whopping total of one time, and even I know what you like."   
I stared at my hands.   
"I probably already know the answer, but did he ever kiss your clit? Lick it until you were at the brink of orgasm? Wrap his lips around your clit and suck gently until you come?"  
I felt so humiliated. I felt dysfunctional. And aroused. What the hell did it say that just listening to Ranger talk about what he wanted to do to me was better than the things that Joe had actually did to me? Yet again, I shook my head. No. But Ranger had.  
"Babe," he said softly, kissing a tear away. "There is nothing wrong with you. Want to know how I know?"  
I nodded, again, warily. Ranger grabbed my hand in his, his fingers coveirng mine, and brought my hand down to the crotch of my sweats, and pressed my fingers against the seam of my pants.   
My eyes widened, and I was about to slug him when he pulled my fingers away and lifted them in front of my face. "Babe, look at your fingers."  
I was beginning to think that Batman had lost his marbles, but I indulgd him and glanced at my fingers, and was shocked to see them glistening with wetness. My wetness. I was stunned. "I don't understand."  
"You're wet. Wet enough that it's seeping through your pants, Babe. There is nothing wrong with you. It sounds like Morelli is the one with the problem." Ranger appeared entirely too smug when said this.  
It was my turn to stare blankly at the Cuban sex god still kneeling in front of me.   
"Babe, I don't fuck around. I meant it when I said that I would ruin you for all other men."  
I stood, squeezing past Ranger. I walked into the kitchen, got my peanut butter out of the cupboard, and consumed a few spoonfuls before wrapping my arms around myself. "You sent me back to him, Ranger."  
I heard him suck in a breath, and the words he spoke shocked me. "I was wrong, Stephanie."  
I blanched at hearing him use my actual name. "Ranger?" I asked uncertainly.  
He was silent for a moment as he unlaced his boots and let them fall to the floor with a soft thud. Then he stood and came to me in the kitchen in his stocking feet. He took my face into my hands, and stared into my eyes, once again letting the walls and the blank face drop. "Babe, I was wrong. And I'm sorry. So fucking sorry. I thought that I knew what was best for you. And I thought that the best thing for you was Morelli. I didn't send you back to the cop because I wanted to. I sent you back to him because I thought that you would be safer that way. The missions I have to complete, they're dangerous, and that's putting it mildly. I know that everytime I leave, that there's a hell of a good chance that I won't make it back home. I didn't want to put you through that, Babe."  
I snorted, and Ranger's eyes widened in indignation. "That makes no sense, Ranger. It's exactly the same with Joe. He could also not make it home on any given day. The only difference is that he's a cop, and not a mercenary." I spoke softly.   
"Is that the only difference, Babe?" Ranger whispered, and in that moment, he was more vulnerable than I had ever seen him.  
"No, Batman," I said, reaching out to press my hand against his cheek, my heart melting when his eyes drifted closed, and he leaned into my touch. "The other major difference is that I'm in love with you. I love you, Ranger."  
He pulled back from me, and examined my face intensely. I stared back at him, letting him see the emotions in my blue eyes. "Babe," his voice broke, and he took a second to recompose himself. "Say it again. Tell me again."   
Tears started trailing down my cheeks again, but this time, they were happy tears. "I love you, Ranger." I could see his love for me shining in his eyes, and my hands shook as I reached out for him.   
"Oh, Babe. I love you, too."  
He captured both of my wrists in one of his hands. "You might not want to touch me, Babe. Or I'm goint to lose all control." He kissed my knuckles to soften his not-quite refusal.  
I waited until his grip loosened, and I slid my arms around his neck, and carefully pulled the rubber band out of his hair, letting it fall free around his face. "Ranger, there's no reason you have to keep your conrol with me. I know it just happened again, and for the billionth time, but Joe and I are done for good. I never would have gone back to him if I had known how you feel, Ranger." His eyes were closed, and he looked like he was in pain, which he very well may have been. He had been sporting his erection for a while now. "Please touch me."  
His eyes opened, and he looked at me for what felt like an eternity. Five minutes had passed before he finally spoke. "Be sure, Babe. Be very sure. If I have you again, there's no going back. You will be mine, and I will be yours."  
"I'm already yours, Ranger. I think I always have been."  
Ranger's gaze softened, and he leaned in close. Just before our lips touched, he murmured, "Babe, I love you. So fucking much it hurts. But if you go back to Morelli one more time, I'm done. I can't share you, I can't-"  
I cut him off by pressing my lips to his. He growled as his tongue traced my lips and I granted him entrance. He stroked my right cheek as we kissed, and I felt so cherished that my heart could have burst. The glide of his tongue against mine had my knees going weak, and just as they were about to give out, Ranger lowered me to the kitchen floor, and removed his shirt in one swift tug.  
I giggled. I couldn't help it. "Here?" I asked.  
I got my answer in the form of him sliding my sweats down my legs and easing my (well, his) shirt over my head, leaving me in my bra and panties. Ranger's eyes went black with lust as he took in my body. "Christ, Babe." He reached out and slid a finger over one of the satin cups of my bra. "You are so damn beautiful."  
I smiled up at him in pure joy, and for the first time in a long time, I believed it. I was beautiful. As long as Ranger looked at me like that, I would know that i was beautiful. In my eagerness, I sat up, and reached behind myself to unhook the yellow bra that Ranger was so entranced with. I could tell that he wanted to stop me, that he wanted to do this on my terms, but he refrained from commenting or preventing me from removing the bra. As soon as my breasts popped free, he was hovering over me, using his lips and teeth on that magical spot where my neck met my shoulder. My nipples hardened once again, wihout him even having to touch them.   
He took a nipple between his thumb and forefinger and lightly pinched, before giving it a quick hard squeeze, and quickly sucking it into his mouth. Ohmyfuckinggod. I let out a shrill moan that I couldn't have held back if I tried, and my hips shot up off the floor.   
"Dios," Ranger groaned, as he continued sucking on my nipple, sending little darts of pleasure straight to my clit. I don't think anything had ever felt as good as his mouth on my nipple did right now. It was exquisite, but I needed more.  
"Ranger," I gasped, "Your teeth, please use your teeth!"  
He bit down lightly, and we were both blown away when I started coming, right then, and right there, just from nipple play. I sobbed as I came down from my orgasm, completely and totally overwhelmed. What the hell had just happened? I never came just from nipple stimulation, not even with Ranger. But I just had. And let me tell you, it was amazing.  
Ranger tucked a strand of my hair behind my ear and looked down at me, his mouth wide open. "That was the sexiest fucking thing I've ever seen." He began kissing his way down my body, stopping at my belly. "Someday, Babe, our baby will grow in here, if you want that."  
"Oh, Ranger, I do. I do want that. I want nothing more than to have your babies.' Whoa, hold on here. Babies? Me?! What the hell had happened to me, and where had I gone?"  
Ranger shook with silent laughter as he slid my panties down my legs. "Babe. Sometimes, you just need to be with the right person to want those things. You've wanted it all along, you just didn't have the right person to do it with."  
I smiled wobbily, tears blurring my vision. "God, Ranger, I love you."  
He brushed his fingers along the seam of my folds, and let out another string of Spanish curses. " I love you too. Dios, babe, you are so wet." He slid his shiny fingers into his mouth, and sucked them, which only made more wetness seep out of me.   
"Ranger, I need you-"  
He lightly slapped my mound, not enough to hurt, but just enough to show me that he was in charge right now. "Shh." And then he gently spread my folds, and just stared at me. I held my breath in anticipation and squealed when he lightly touched the tip of his tongue to my clit. I felt him smile against me as he kissed my clit, swirling his tongue around all of the right spots. By now I was moaning and crying out so loudly that I was sure that all of my elderly neighbors were getting quite the earful.   
"That's it, Babe, let me hear you." He gently took my clit between his lips and sucked, and I began to shake under Ranger's talented mouth. I was seconds away from coming when Ranger let my clit go with an audible little pop that somehow turned me on even more. I was about to protest the lack of contact when he slid two of his long, thick, fingers inside of me.   
I keened loudly, and Ranger resumed licking my clit. "Mmm, Babe," he spoke in between licks. "You taste so good." He continued to pump his long fingers in and out of me slowly, and I was almost at the point of orgasm again when he pulled his fingers out of me, and slid my wetness down to my back entrance, and I instantly tensed, and tried to pull away from his touch there.  
"Ricardo Carlos Manoso, I don't do butt stuff!!!" I shrieked, offended. Now the mood was gone, and things had been going so, so, so deliciously good.  
One of his fingers came to rest against my puckered back entrance, and he looked at me seriously. "Stephanie, Babe, do you trust me?"  
"God, Ranger, you know I do, but-"  
His finger began rubbing my anus, and I was stunned into silence. It actually felt kind of good. "Then let me make you feel good. I would never make you do something you don't want to do, Babe." His eyes held mine as he dragged more of my juices to my back entrance, and I sucked in a breath as he began to apply light pressure to that forbidden spot.   
"Talk to me, Babe," he demanded gruffly, as the tip of his finger sank inside of my ass.  
I blinked, perturbed by the strange sensation of something inside of me there. "I trust you, I really do, Ranger, but I'm scared." No exaggeration there, it was the truth. Really, the tip of his finger wasn't too bad, be he was so well endowed, that if he ever tried to make love to me this way, there was no way in hell his cock would fit. It was just too big.  
"Oh, Babe, it would fit. Trust me." He watched me, and his breathing became heavy as he worked his finger inside of me up to the first knuckle. He kept his eyes on my face. "How does it feel?" He began to move his finger in and out of me, just barely, until I became accustomed to the feeling. He buried his face back between my thighs, and began taking leisurely laps at my clit as he, without warning, his finger slid in to the hilt, completely buried inside of my ass.   
I screamed, and my eyes rolled back in my head slightly.Holy fuck. Without even being aware of it, I was lifting my ass up and down on his finger, essentially gently fucking myself with his finger. I turned boneless as he gently began to work another finger into my ass, and took my clit gently between his teeth. He bit down lightly, once, twice, three times, before feeding both of his fingers all the way into my ass. My hips were moving of their own accord, and God, I wanted him inside of me! He held me down, and kept his fingers buried in my back entrance, wigging them inside of me as he continued to nip at my clit. Not even ten seconds later, I was coming for the second time that night, even harder than the first time.   
Ranger was shaking as he slowly removed his fingers from me. He pressed a quick kiss to my now sweaty forehead, assuring me he would be right back. I frowned but nodded. Sure enough, he was back in a few moments. "Just washing my hands, Babe. I figured you wouldn't want those fingers anywhere near your face until they were clean."  
I pondered this. He had a good point. I reached for him but instead of laying down on the kitchen floor next to me, he picked me up, and carried me to my bedroom. He set me on the bed, and reached into my nightstand drawer for a condom. He swallowed hard.   
"Do you want me to wear this, Babe?"   
I grabbed the rubber from between his fingers and carelessly tossed it across the room, not caring where it ended up. "I just want you, Ranger. No barriers."  
"Babe."  
"Ranger."  
He stared me down. "You could get pregnant. I don't want to put you in a situation you don't want to be in."  
I grabbed him softly by his cock, and pulled him to me, so that he was hovering over me. His chest pressed against mine as he settled on top of me, and I guided his hardness to my soaking wet center. "If I get pregnant, we'll get married." I said.  
"Nothing would make me happier." He brought both my hands above my head, and slid an inch of his cock inside of me, gritting his teeth at the feel of me. "God, you feel perfect, Babe." He thrust forward, and another few inches sank inside of my me, causing me to cry out. Pulling all the way out, he pressed his forehead to mine. "And if you don't get pregnant?"  
I touched his face, and smiled at him, hoping he saw my love for him written all over my face. "We'll get married anyway. And keep trying until we do get pregnant." Ranger's lips crashed into mine and he thrust all eight inches of his hard length home, my wetness making his hard thrusts easy and smooth.   
"Babe. Dios. I love you, and I want to pleasure you like you deserve, but I can't hold on much longer."  
I strained to sit up slightly, and licked the outer shell of his ear. "You have pleasured me like I deserve," I whispered, and I moaned as his cock hit my cervix, causing me to shiver. "You've been making love to me all night. Let it go. Let it go, and just fuck me, Ric."  
Ranger lost any shred of control he had left when his name, his real name, left my lips. He began thrusting hard and fast, grunting each time he bottomed out inside of me. It wasn't long before Ranger was close, he reached down, placing feather-light strokes on my clit, which he knew from our one other previous encounter, drove me crazy. "I need you to come, Babe, I'm so close, please come for me."  
Ranger pleading would be enough to make me do anything, and I started coming instantly. Giving one last thrust, Ranger stilled, and I felt his cock pulsing, and I moaned as I realized that he was coming inside of me, which caused a few aftershocks as my third and hopefully final orgasm of the night subsided. Hey, I like orgasms as much as anyone else, but I was exhausted.   
Gently easing himself out of me, Ranger rolled off of me, and pulled the comforter over me before coming up and laying next to me. I smiled at him and snuggled into his chest, and I breathed in the the scent of Bulgari and that unique smell that was just Ranger. I was drifting off to sleep when Ranger stroked my hair, and spoke quietly. "Babe?"  
Without him elaborating, I knew that he needed reassurance. I kissed his cheek and snugged back into him. I had no idea how I knew, but I knew that although it wouldn't be detectable for at least another month, that I was pregnant. "No regrets, Batman. It's you and me and Batbaby forever." The last thing I saw before sleep over took me was Ranger's 200 watt smile.

 

A/N: Okay. So I know that this is far from perfect, but please let me know what you think. This is my first ever Plum story, and my firsts ever attempt at smut. Written at 2 in the morning, mind you. Hopefully it wasn't horrible. Oh, and this wasn't beta-ed, so all mistakes are my own fault. Also, I am aware that this story was really lacking on detail, descriptions. I chose to focus more on the dialogue for this story. If there's enough interest, a sequel could be possible.


End file.
